Day Nineteen: Hong Kong

The hotels just keep getting better and better! The Hotel Ibis in Korea gave us everything we wanted and put us in the heart of the best shopping and food consumption in Seoul. The Park Hotel Tokyo lavished us with top notch service and put us within a few blocks of the most luxurious district in Tokyo. And now, the Renaissance Harbour View in Hong Kong has placed me in a deluxe room with a view to die for and within minutes of the most amazing shopping mall (IFC) and the best dim sum and siu long bao I've had in a long, long time. I love you long time.

Yesterday, the Jason and the Janice met up with me at my hotel after returning from a food poisoning adventure through Thailand. For a monster like Jason, it is truly disheartening to hear he could not eat for a few hours. But it's okay, we navigated our way to a great Cantonese restaurant called Crystal Jade, recommended by my friend Patrick when I was in Japan. The siu long bao (little dragon dumpling), was awesome! The soup within it had a flavor that put me in utter ecstacy, and so, we ordered three boxes of them, prompting the waiter to ask in disbelief, "Really? Are you sure?" Janice proudly responded, "These are big guys. Just bring it!" She didn't actually say that.

But seriously, walking around with the Jason and the Janice in Hong Kong is like touring a city with two beasts. They are the most monstrous Asians I know, and everywhere they go, the natives stare at them like lab experiments gone horribly right. Oh, by the way, I found myself another thing to kick in the balls, but after considering the fact that an actual human being inhabited the Nescafe shell, I decided to just drink some of its coffee. Meanwhile, a confused little girl stood beside me, wondering what I was doing. I told her if she kicked the giant red cup in the balls I'd tell her.

My parents and I went to Nobu at the Intercontinental last night. It's located right on the shoreline of the Kowloon side, looking out to the dazzling Hong Kong skyline. As we dined on somewhat disappointing sushi (keep in mind I just left Japan) and a gin martini, we admired the glittering lights and uber trendy decorum. Definitely a must-see for anyone visiting Hong Kong, the Intercontinental is a great spot for meeting up and venturing out around the Tsim Sha Tsui area. Shopping, bars, and the Peninsula hotel for tea time. I spiked my tea.

Oh, here's a weird thing about Hong Kong bathrooms. The urinals are like freakin' targets, no freedom to aim wherever you want! Look at this photo of the urinals at the IFC mall. They're basically square wall bowls with a wall divider that couldn't be any bigger than the orange dividers in the Triage SF office. In other words, completely and utterly useless. As I tower over my wall bowl, I can (but didn't) see out of the corner of my eye the entire other wall bowl. This is one of the reasons I can't live in Hong Kong. Another reason is the fact that I am at least an Extra Large in clothing sizes. And they hardly, if ever, carry Extra Larges. This is why HGH and steroids aren't a problem in Asia.

I'm not about to end this entry with a picture of a urinal, so here's another paragraph for your follow-up call distraction enjoyment. Plastered across the subways, malls, and sidewalks, an incredbly distracting ad campaign had me stumbling into other pedestrians, walking into turnstyles, and nearly falling onto the subway tracks. Thank infinity for the protective glass walls. I was wondering what they were for, and now I know. The Hong Kong people like putting half naked women up everywhere. Hm, maybe there is a reason to move here?

I'll be back in California on Friday, and my college buddies and I are going to Le Cercle in LA (a Korean booking club). I'll practice my Korean there, but I promise to not make any trouble. There's someone else I'm planning on doing that with. *wink*